A lady is doing her daily shopping in the store near place she lives. She bought low fat milk, eggs, orange juice, salad, coffee and meat. While she was unloading the shopping from the basket, a drunk guy, who was standing behind her, was observing. While they were waiting in the line, the drunk guy says quietly:
- I guess you are not married.
The woman, slightly surprised by this statement, shows to be intrigued by the intuition of the drunk guy because he was right and she was not married. She turns back looking at her shopping without finding nothing strange, nothing that can show she was single. All at once she says:
- You are right. Tell me, how did you guess?
- You're fuckin' ugly!
On a narrow mountain road a man sees a police car driving uphill backwards.
- Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards?
- Because we are not sure that we will find a place to make a u-turn on the top of the mountain.
After one hour the same man sees the same police car driving downhill backwards again.
- But guys, why are you driving backwards again?
- We found a place to make a u-turn up there.
A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife.
- No darling, we can’t do it here, our kid is watching us.
- You are right, lets go to the beach.
After a while, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a sudden, a policeman walks in on them.
- Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can’t do that in public.
- You are right - said the husband - but I had a moment of weakness. We didn’t see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me.
- Don’t worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it.
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