Sunday, December 1, 2013
Over his career, Lingenfelter won 13 career national event events in Competition Eliminator and was the first driver in the class to break the six-second quarter-mile barrier. He finished second in the Pro Stock Truck standings in 1998, which was the first year of competition for the now defunct class. His Cavalier had an E.T. of 7.08 seconds.
He was the founder of Lingenfelter Performance Engineering (LPE for short) in Decatur, Indiana. LPE is a shop specializing in the modification of GM vehicles such as the F-Bodies (Camaro, Firebird), B Bodies (Impala SS, Caprice, Roadmaster, Fleetwood), Corvette, CTS-V, GTO, Silverado,Suburban, Tahoe, Escalade, Denali, SSR, Hummer H2, and Sierra. The shop also worked with tuning packages for the Dodge Viper and Plymouth Prowler.
In the press, his tuned vehicles were reported to have as much civility as the stock vehicles upon which they were based in everyday driving. However, these vehicles were brutally fast. Motor Trend tested a Tahoe tuned by Lingenfelter and achieved a 5.1 second 0-60 time as well as a 0.95g lateral acceleration figure. These numbers match the performance figures of the C4 Corvette and GMC Syclones/Typhoons of that era. This Tahoe had its 350in.3 V8 bored and stroked to 396in.3, making 500 hp and still retaining its 4WD drivetrain. Motor Trend also tested a Lingenfelter built Impala SS that had the same performance numbers as the last generation M5 (0-60 4.7 sec) due to its bored and stroked LT-1 (Displacement rose to 383in.3 and horsepower rose to 440). Another vehicle built by Lingenfelter was also featured in the June 1996 issue of Car and Driver when they built a special C4 Corvette with a 427in.3 engine that attained a top speed of 212 mph.Currently, the most powerful vehicle they have in their stable is a 2006 twin-turbo Corvette Z06 with 1,109 rear wheel horsepower worth $288,540. John built the engine for "Big Red", a 1969 Camaro that has achieved speeds in excess of 220 mph.
He was critically injured during an NHRA Summit Sports Compact drag racing event at Pomona, California on October 27, 2002. He died Thursday December 25, 2003 at Adams County Memorial Hospital in Decatur, Indiana at age 58.
The Mafia was looking for a new man to make weekly collections from all the private businesses that they were "protecting."
Feeling the heat from the police force, they decide to use a deaf person for this job.
If he were to get caught, he wouldn't be able to communicate to the police what he was doing.
Well, on his first week, the deaf collector picks up over $40,000.
He gets greedy, decides to keep the money and stashes it in a safe place.
The Mafia soon realizes that their collection is late, and sends someo of their hoods after the deaf collector.
The hoods find the deaf collector and ask him where the money is.
The deaf collector can't communicate with them, so the Mafia drags the guy to an interpreter.
The Mafia hood says to the interpreter, "Ask him where da money is."
The interpreter signs, "Where's the money?"
The deaf man replies, "I don't know what you're talking about."
The interpreter tells the hood, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The hood pulls out a .38 and places it in the ear of the deaf collector. "Now ask him where the money is!"
The interpreter signs, "Where is the money?"
The deaf man replies, "The $40,000 is in a tree stump in Central Park."
The interpreter says to the hood, "He says he still doesn't know what you're talking about, and doesn't think you have the balls to pull the trigger."
On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid, "Nice bike you've got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid said, "Yeah."
The cop said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike." The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop said, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid said, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
Two friends were playing golf when one pulled out a cigar.
He didn't have a lighter, so he asked his friend if he had one. "I sure do," he replied while he reached into his golf bag and pulled out a 12 inch Bic lighter.
"Wow!" said his friend, "Where did you get that monster lighter?"
"I got it from my genie."
"You have a genie?"
"Yes, right here in my golf bag."
"Could I see him?"
He opens his golf bag and out pops a genie.
The friend asks the genie, "Since, I'm a good friend of your master, will you grant me one wish?"
"Yes I will" the genie replies.
The friend asks the genie for a million bucks.
The genie hops back into the golf bag and leaves him standing there, waiting for his million bucks.
Suddenly, the sky begins to darken and the sound of a million ducks flying overhead is heard.
The friend tells his golfing partner, "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
He answers,"I forgot to tell you that the genie is hard of hearing. Do you really think I asked him for a 12 inch Bic?"