Like most people my age, I have put on a few pounds over the years. No longer was I the kid who worked out 8 days a week to maintain my one hundred forty pound physique. Now I am in my forties and am required to work out as much as I am willing , or able to, to maintain my one hundred eighty five pound, beer bellied frame.
Like most people in the same situation, I have tried stupid fad diets and “fat burners” that are sold under the flashy, lit up, shiny, beautiful displays and the local drug store. Well, that didn't work.
However, I am a miracle worker. I am a diet God. I am a intellectual masterpiece. I can tell you in one sentence how you can lose weight. I know what the Health food/ Supplement/Diet industry doesn't know, or what they won't tell you. If you use the information I will give you, for no cost whatsoever, they will lose billions of dollars. The industry will be brought to its knees. The world as we know it will crumble. If you are braced for this groundbreaking information, I will impart this knowledge to you.
PUT DOWN THE CHEESEBURGER AND GO FOR A WALK. Yes, it's true. Diet and exercise are the only two things that will help you. Shocking but true.
Of course, I find it hard to heed my own advice, as I grab my coat to go out to dinner with my family. But like most people, I mean well. And, come New Years Eve, I will, or course, make my usual half assed resolution to lose a few pounds.
Too bad I’m so lazy. And, need a piece of pizza.
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