Yesterday as I sat in Starbucks drinking my coffee, I suddenly had the urge to fart. I didn't want anyone to hear, so I thought I would squeeze out little ones to the beat of the music that was playing in the shop. I let one go on the drum beat and no one seemed to notice, so I did it about 10 more times.
Well, people started to laugh and move away from me with disgusted looks on their faces. That's when I realized I was listening to my iPod.
An elderly man goes into his doctors office for an annual physical. After a while, the doctor comes out and says, "I'm sorry Bill, but we have discovered you have a condition which only allows you another 6 weeks to live."
"But Doctor," Bill replied, "I feel great. I haven't felt better in years. This just can't be true. Isn't there anything I can do?"
After a moment the doctor said, "Well, you might start going down the street to that new health spa and take a mud bath every day."
Excitedly Bill asked, "And that will cure me?"
"No," replied the doctor, "but it will get you used to the dirt."