Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sunday Funnies...

On a trans-atlantic flight, a plane was passing through a horrible storm. The turbulence is severe, and unfortunately things go from bad to worse when one of the wings were struck by lightning. One woman in particular friggen loses it.
Screaming, she stands up at the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she blares. "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has really ever made me feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"
For a moment, there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own danger and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman at the front of the plane.
Then, a man stands up in the back of the plane. "I can make you feel like a real woman," he shouts. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing blond hair and jet blue eyes, and he begins walking slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. Everyone stares in silence.
The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the stranger approaches. He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:
"Iron this."

Man says to his Wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at them.
Wife says to her Man: Let me take a picture of your penis, so can have it enlarged.

An elderly woman, distressed over the recent death of her husband, decided to end her life early to be with her husband in the afterlife.
She went to her doctor's the next day and asked, "Doctor, where is my heart?". He replied, "On a woman's body, it is just below the left breast." With that said she went home, took her husband's loaded handgun, and shot herself. A neighbor, overhearing the gunfire, immediately called 911. The ambulance arrived, and she was admitted to the hospital with a gun-shot wound just below her left knee.

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