Sunday Funnies

10 REASONS MEN ARE DIFFERENT THAN WOMEN

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman
will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
3. A successful man is one who makes more money than
his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot
& love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to
understand her at all.
5. Married men live longer than single men - but
married men are a lot more willing to die.
6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's
no use in two people remembering the same thing.
7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but
he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.
9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything
a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
10. There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a
woman - before marriage & after marriage.




Two men are sitting next to each other in an Irish-style pub in New York City. They both order pints of Guinness. One of them turns to the other and says "So where are you from, then?" "I'm from Ireland." "Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin." "Me too! I'll drink to that." They both finish their pints and order two more. "Where in Dublin are you from?" "The East Side." "The East Side? Me too! What a coincidence! I'll drink to that!" They both finish their pints and order two more."Where on the East Side are you from?" "McDonagh Street." "Me too! This is incredible! I'll drink to that." As the bartender pours them another two pints, another customer at the bar says to him, "That's amazing! I can't believe they're from the same street in Dublin. What's going on?" "Oh, it's nothing amazing," says the bartender,"it's just the Ferguson twins getting sloshed again."

Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by. So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, ''Why did you do that?'' The man replies, ''Well we were maried for almost 40 years. It's the least I could do.''