Sunday Funnies...

Peter was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor.

"Now Sharon, I don't exactly know what is the problem is -- Peter may even die if he doesn't get the right treatment. The only thing is the right treatment is going to seem a little strange. Peter needs to golf as often as he has strength and you need to give him all the sex he can handle." Sharon nodded and left. When she got home, Peter was anxious to find out what his test results were.

"Well Sharon, what did Doctor have to say? Sharon looked him straight in the face. "Your gonna die."

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation. They get drunk and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning - though none of them can remember what they did the night before.
The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene  on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness,
and release her.
The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.
The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the  University of Texas and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.
A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready.
"All set back here, Captain," came the reply, "except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards."

Have a great Sunday!