As I look back at the year we've had, and reminisce about the millions and millions of dollars I have made with little to no effort on my part, I then realized that I forgot to remember the people I employ to take care of my vast estate and my gigantic collection of vehicles.
Therefore, I sent my most favorite servant to the trash bin to pick out some items for the rest of my well paid staff. I made him stop breaking up old furniture to burn for heat in his shack, and graciously gave him full access to all my trash bins to find the items to be distributed.
These items, which were generously given by myself, and received gratefully by my staff (jokingly stating they would burn them to avoid freezing to death in their collective plywood shacks throughout the cold winter)
Then, after a six hour tribute to my greatness, after which they were given a warm glass of water, they returned to work. After all, those potatoes are not going to pick themselves.
This is the best boxing day ever.
